Shitty Witch’s Bone Broth

Gather well loved, well treated animal bones from the farm store nearest to your house. In a pot, put the bones of various animals (chicken feet + oxtail make a great combination). Cover with salt and add a splash of apple cider vinegar. Let sit for a few minutes, to let them know they’re about to become one of the most nutritious foods known to planet Earth. The bones have a big job ahead of them, so give them time to adjust.

Then, toss in one whole onion, one whole clove of garlic, three shitty and slightly old carrots from the back of your fridge. Cover with water and cook in your crockpot. Be ready to *enjoy* the smell of broth cooking for 1 - 3 days. Add water as she cooks. The bones are thirsty.

When finished cooking, let cool and pour carefully into jars for refrigeration. If your jars are about to find a home in your freezer, only fill 3/4ths of the way to the top.

Enjoy fully by sipping silently while you contemplate how you live in a universe on an Earth where something as shitty as dead bones can be turned into complete nourishment for the price of a pot of boiling water. Life is good.