Shitty Witch’s Fermented Oats

(Inspired by Sally Fallon Morell)

Gather steel cut oats in a pot

Wait, shit, I always start this recipe wrong.

Bring a pot of lightly salted water to boil. Pour in sprouted, organic steel-cut oats (like from One Degree Organic Foods). The ratio of oats to water is important, but not important enough for me to adjust my behavior according to anyone’s recommendation. Ask whoever is watching over your shoulder as you stir to give you a high sign when you’ve put enough oats in the pot. (Yes, your sous chef is a ghost).

Cook until almost all of the water is gone. Pour in a bowl and cool. Then, add something fermented. A large few dollops of cultured butter and a splash of apple cider vinegar. Mix well, set out on the counter overnight or for a day for fermenting. WHILE FERMENTING, add enough water to the bowl to keep the oats fully submerged. 

After 12 - 24 hours, cover and pop in the fridge. When you are about to eat it, scoop some out, heat gently on stovetop, mix in blueberry jam and maple syrup, and thank whoever helped you with your oat to water ratio.