Shitty Witch’s Candied Bacon

Cook bacon on a pan with aluminum foil in 400 degree oven after slathering with some maple syrup that you bought from a farmer (not from a store that shit’s just sugar water), and sprinkling some sugar on top. Lightly salt it. 

Cook it for around 20 minutes, but this witch is number dyslexic so keep your nose alert. Flip it halfway thru cooktime. It’s done when sugar is sticky and crisp. 

If your oven is too hot, you’ll know because the sugar will start to burn, just turn down the heat and pray. 

Enjoy on buttered toast with some carrot sauerkraut and sauteed onions. Or hoover it off the pan if you cooked on an empty stomach.